“They dangle joy in front of me and never let me grasp it” - Lord Danbury Situation: The tailors on the street advertising their services. “I’m very good with buttons” - Young King George Situation: When your parents make you feel like they’re a safe space, so you speak freely, and end up with a smack on your mouth for speaking too freely. No one else does” - Young Queen Charlotte Situation: When you can’t stop thinking about them, and it’s beginning to feel like love. To be plagued by these feelings” - Kate Sharma Situation: When your mother thinks you’re now of marriageable age so she carries you to every owambe just so she can introduce you to her friends’ single children. “I look like a prized calf trussed up for auction” - Eloise Bridegerton Situation: When you’ve stained your partner’s white beyond repair, but you still want them to marry you. But I will humble myself before you because I cannot imagine my life without you, and that is why I wish to marry you” - Lord Anthony Situation: When your boss sees the work you’ve been slaving over is actually good and decides to take credit for it. “Yes, that is why I thought of it” - Queen Charlotte after Brimsley hinted they follow Lady Whistledown Situation: When you just confessed love to the person that’s been stringing you along for months but controls your mumu button. Spoken with such feeling too” - Benedict Bridgerton
Situation: When Nigerians think of money, like during that cash scarcity period. Night and day, I dream of you” - Lord Anthony “You are the bane of my existence and the object of all my desires. Situation: When your mother sends a conspiracy theory the day after you begged her and she promised to stop. “Dearest Gentle Reader, did you miss me?” - Lady Whistledown Situation: When your hairstylist is trying to explain why you’re balding after they’ve used all your front hair to do pick and drop for the third time. “No, she just wears her hair too tight” - Penelope Featherington Situation: When you have to write a Twitter bio so everyone knows you’re a feminist. “I take issue with any man who views women merely as chattel and breeding stock” - Kate Sharma Situation: After your tailor has sewed rubbish with your ₦10k per yard material, and they’re trying to make you understand that every mistake is a blessing in disguise. “Just because something is not perfect, does not make it is any less worthy of love” - Daphne Bridgerton Situation: When your son has cheated on your daughter-in-law more times than you can count, but you still don’t want her to leave. One that is never too late to make” - Violet Bridgerton “We chose to love each other every single day.
Situation: When you’re trying to explain to your friends why you can’t leave your crush alone, even though they’re in a serious relationship, and you know their partner can fight. “Her heart is no matter, as long as her hand remains free” - Queen Charlotte Stand your ground sha blackmail never ends. Situation: When you told your younger sibling about the tattoo below your neck, and now, they want to cash it in for a favour. “Be it shame or slander, seduction or smear, there is but one thing that humbles even the most highly-regarded members of our dear ton… a scandal” - Lady Whistledown You know she can smell your lies, but that has never stopped you. Situation: You’re a man living in Lagos and you met a woman five seconds ago. GET YOUR HERTITUDE TICKETS HERE “To meet a beautiful woman is one thing, but to meet your best friend in the most beautiful of women is something entirely apart” - Simon Basset We burn for you, and we want to prove it. Zikoko is throwing a party for the hot girls only. Situation: You’re plantain, and the person frying you turns away for a second. Situation: When you tell a man you don’t want children, and he tries to mansplain how children are a gift from God, and your life’s purpose won’t be fulfilled if you don’t give birth. “You have no idea what it is to be a woman” - Daphne Bridgerton A quick step back and side eye to go with these words, and they should get the message. Situation: When a family member you haven’t seen since you were in primary school sees you in public and starts acting overly familiar.
“You do not know me, and rest assured, you never shall” - Lady Whistledown It must be followed with a gentle pat and slight stroke on the back, while your face expresses the “I told you so”. Situation: When the friend you’ve been warning to break up with their cheating boyfriend finally chops breakfast, and you still have to comfort them.
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